


I will be here

by plumarahuyo



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Childhood Friends, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Health Issues, fandoms - Freeform
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 03:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30133539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumarahuyo/pseuds/plumarahuyo
Summary: A licensed neurosurgeon takes a trip down her memory lane as she reminisces her journey to reach her dreams. Perhaps, her fate is written among the stars as she encountered the biggest plot twist of her life, redirecting her towards her true passion towards other people.
Relationships: Win Metawin Opas-iamkajorn/Original Character(s)





	I will be here

"licensed neurosurgeon na ako!" sagot ni Love habang kausap ang kaibigan niyang si Chimon.

"Congrats, Dr. Pattranite!! Sobrang nakakaproud naman at ang layo ng narating mo"

Hanggang ngayon ay bakas pa rin sa aking isipan si Win, my high school best friend. He was my closest friend at that time. We shared a lot of similarities and we are usually in the same wavelength of thinking. Pero sa lahat ng alaala na aming nagawa, hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan yung araw na magigising ako na wala na siya sa mundong ito.

I aspired to become a neurosurgeon not because it is my utmost dream, but because of how I lost a friend from suicide. I took up psychology in college instead of taking up engineering, just because of how Win was my driving force to be a doctor. I could not bear the pain of losing someone that i love again just because they felt that no one is listening to them. Aminado ako na hanggang ngayon, hindi ko mapatawad ang sarili ko sapagkat hindi ko siya napigilan na kunin ang sarili niyang buhay. The last time that we spoke to each other was the night before he bid goodbye to the Earth. It was the funniest conversation at that time. Both of us were laughing so hard about the random things that we were talking about. Little did I know that such mirthful hours would be the last moments that we would be together.

*insert kalog moments*

______________

"Love, alagaan mo ang sarili mo ha. Pilitin mong maging masaya kapag nalulungkot ka. Diba, sabi natin lagi sa isa't isa 'happy thoughts only'? " Win said while we were both looking at the sunset at the peak of the mountain. The golden glow of the sun illuminates his ethereal beauty. His brown eyes being reflected as embers while he was looking at such magnificent view. "He's heaven-sent", i thought.

"Oo naman! Ikaw din, alagaan mo sarili mo! Marami pa tayong tutuparin sa bucket list natin na magkaibigan!" I responded to him with a hint of cheer in my voice just to suppress the intoxicating air of sadness around us.

"Mahal na mahal kita, Love. You deserve all the happiness this world can give you." he whispered to me while pressing my hands into his. I can feel the warmth of his hands into mine while feeling the cool breeze of the mountain air seeping into our lungs. He pulled me closer to him for a hug; his grip to me is already a clear expression that he does not want to let me go.

"Love! Hoy, Love!!" bigla akong nagising sa boses ni Chimon na tila nagpapanic at parang may sasabihin na kung anong bagay na sobrang importante.

"Jusko, Chimon. Ano kailangan mo? Bat mo naman ako---" hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko sa kanya sapagkat napansin ko sa kanyang mga namumugtong mata ay tila may kailangan akong malaman na hindi ko ikatutuwa. Tinignan ko na lamang siya sa kanyang mata na tila'y nag-aantay ng kasagutan kung bakit namumugto ang kanyang mga mata. Hindi pa niya nasasambit ang mga unang salita ay bigla na itong humagulhol sa kakaiyak.

"Love... si... Win..." Chimon said in between cries, his face full of anguish as he tries to grasp the strength that he needed in order for him to complete the statement that he is about to say. I pulled Chimon into a tight hug as I tried to comfort him. I made him pour out all of his tears and sadness in his heart. What my ears can only hear are his cries and my throbbing heartbeat as the finger of morning caresses my soul.

"Love, si Win..." Chimon said as he composed himself as he has gotten the strength that he needed.  
"Anong meron sa kanya?" i answered while my voice is trembling with anxiety as I wait for the latter's response. My peaceful mind suddenly became a chaotic place, overflowing with thoughts which might put my sanity at stake. I tried to calm myself as i anticipate for the worst of the worst.  
"Love... wala na si Win."

The room that was once filled with sobs of anguish suddenly turned into an abyss of eternal silence. I lost the strength to speak as tears raced down my face. I was just looking at the youthful morning sun as it witnessed the saddest event in my life. Natulala ako kasi hindi ko alam kung papaano, na sa isang iglap lang ay mawawala na sa mundong ibabaw ang taong pinakamamahal ko.

Hindi namin namalayan ni Chimon ang mabilis na paglipas ng oras. Both of us were zoning out; nakatitig lang kami sa may bintana habang nakasandal siya sa aking balikat. Our minds regain back its awareness about our surroundings when Film called.

"Hi, Love."  
"Hello."  
"Si Win."  
"Nakarating na sa akin yung balita."  
"Sige, antayin ka na lang namin."  
"S-saan?"

The panic in my voice became evident the moment na sinabi ni Film na aantayin na lang daw niya ako. I suddenly jumped from my bed, waking up the sleepy Chimon who fell asleep beside me. Hindi ko alam kung nananaginip ba ako at parang pawang namamatay lahat ng mga kausap ko.

"Sa funeral ni Win. Sinend ko na kanina yung address sayo."  
"Sige. Bye."

Natapos ang usapan namin ni Film nang mapansin kong gising na si Chimon, ngunit nandoon pa din ang kanyang mga namumugtong mga mata.

"Sorry if nagising kita, Chi. Tulog ka na ulit." bulong ko dito.  
"Love, anong nangyari? Nagising ako kasi bigla kang nagulat."  
"Si Film, tumawag. Sabi niya aantayin daw niya ako, akala ko namatay din yung kausap ko at nananaginip ako."  
"Hapon na pala, gusto mo bang kumain?" paanyaya ko kay Chimon na tila'y nalipasan na ng gutom.  
"Wala akong ganang kumain. Pasensya na. Siya nga pala, bukas yung funeral ni Win."  
"Sige, salamat."  
"Uwi na ako, kita na lang tayo bukas doon ha."  
"Ingat ka."

As Chimon shut the door of my room, the deafening silence is resonating in my ears as guilt seeps through the cracks of my soul. I could not comprehend everything, parang kagabi lang ang saya namin ni Win na nag-uusap tapos all of a sudden patay na pala siya? Hindi man lang niya ako sinabihan ng kung ano mang bumabagabag sa isip niya? Hindi ko lubos maisip, saan ako nagkulang bilang isang kaibigan? Sana nagsabi naman siya sakin na buo na ang desisyon niyang umalis sa mundong ito para may nagawa man lang ako para pigilan siya. Hindi naman kasi sagot yung pagpapakamatay para lang masolusyonan yung problema, eh. May mga unos talaga tayo sa buhay na hindi natin agad malalampasan, pero hindi naman yung susuko ka agad sa laban.

Sa sobrang lalim ng iniisip ko ay di ko namalayang ilang oras na akong humihikbi mag-isa sa aking kwarto. Sadyang napakalungkot ng araw na iyon para sa akin, sa sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari ay tila hindi ko man lang nakita na sa mga bawat ngiti at tawa na nakikita ko sa mga kaibigan ko ay may nakatagong hinanakit at kalungkutan sa kanilang mga isipan.

\--------------------------

Alas otso ng umaga nang ako'y magising sa sinag ng araw na tumatama sa aking mga mata. Nakalimutan kong ibaba ang blinds kagabi kaya naman napaaga ang gising ko. Pagkamulat ng aking mga namumugtong mata ay nakita ko si Tay sa may pintuan ng aking kwarto. Bakas din ang kalungkutan sa kanyang mga namumugtong mata, ngunit ang kanyang mga ngiti ay nagbibigay sa akin ng pag-asa na mayroon pang mga dahilan upang ngumiti sa gitna ng kalungkutan.

"Love, pasensya na kung pumasok kami nina New, Jane at Chimon ng hindi ka sinasabihan." paumanhin nito  
"Okay lang, salamat sa pagdalaw."  
"Halika na, saluhan mo na kaming tatlo dito na kumain ng almusal."  
Tumango ako at sumama sa kaibigan ko para mag-almusal. Habang kumakain kami ng hash browns ay napansin kong tila napakasaya ng aming usapan. Everyone's showing their mirthful looks as Tay and New would crack jokes in front of us, as we burst out with laughter.

"Win, alam namin na gusto mo kaming makita na masaya palagi. Sana kasama ka namin dito." sabi ko sa sarili ko habang pinagmamasdan ang mga masasayang ngiti ng aking mga kaibigan.

A part of me is worried because of what is happening. Ganitong-ganito din yung nangyari the night before Win died. Natatakot ako na baka bukas o sa makalawa ay isa rin sa mga kaibigan kong kasama kong tumatawa ay sumama na rin kay Win.

It was already noontime when we've arrived at Win's funeral. The place is filled with people that are close to him, especially his parents and relatives. Habang papalapit kami sa kanyang kabaong ay unti-unti kong nararamdaman na nanghihina na ang mga tuhod ko. Nahihirapan na akong maglakad sapagkat ang tanging bagay na tumatakbo sa aking isipan ay ang tanggapin ang mapait na katotohanan na wala na ang pinakamatalik kong kaibigan. Agad kaming nakita ng kanyang mga magulang at binigyan kami ng mahihigpit na yakap. Pareh-parehas kaming nawalan ng mahal sa buhay at isa lamang ito sa mga matitinding dagok ng buhay na aming pagdadaanan.

"Love, mija." marahang bulong ng ina ni Win habang tinatapik ang aking balikat.  
"Tita, good afternoon po. Condolences po." malungkot kong tugon sa kanya.  
"Parehas lang tayo na nawalan. Siya nga pala, salamat dahil palagi kang nasa tabi niya. We may not be there for him to celebrate his smallest achievements, pero nandyan ka at mga kaibigan ninyo para ipadama sa kanya ang tunay na pamilya. Salamat, dahil napasaya niyo ang anak ko noong siya ay nabubuhay pa. Natutuwa ako at naging kaibigan niya kayo."  
"Salamat po, tita. Kung hindi rin po sa inyo, hindi po lalaki si Win bilang isang mabait na tao."  
"Anak, siya nga pala may nais atang ibigay sa iyo si Win." sabi nito at may inabot sa akin na kahon. Binuksan ko ito at ang nasa pinakaitaas nito ay nakapatong isang liham na galing kay Win. Hindi ko maitago ang kalungkutan na nararamdaman ko noon. That was my last memory of him, but even without these gifts, he will always be immortalized in my heart and soul.

Lahat kaming magkakaibigan ay naatasan na gumawa ng eulogy para kay Win. Ako yung pinakahuling pinagsalita kasi ika nga daw nila, "save the best for last"

It was my turn to speak when I felt my knees tremble with fear, not because it is my first time to write a eulogy, but because everyone who are close to him would be hearing my message for him.

“Win, alam kong nakikinig ka kung nasaan ka man ngayon. Sana nahanap mo na diyan ang tunay na kaligayahan na inaasam mo noong nabubuhay ka pa.

Ilang taon na ang nakakalipas noong nagkakilala kami ni Win. Sobrang opposite ng personalities namin, napakamasayahin kong tao tapos siya, tahimik lang. New student si Win noon sa pinapasukan naming high school, naging magkatabi kami kasi nakaupo siya sa bandang likod at saktong may bakanteng upuan sa tabi niya. Nagkataon kasing late ako nung first day of school, salamat sa traffic at road accident na tumambad sa akin noong umagang iyon. Una pa lang ay nahalata ko na ang matinding pighati sa kanyang mga mata. His weary eyes reveal a lot about who he is; it is the portal to the story of his life. He’s not wearing the usual happy eyes of a person. If the eyes of others shine because of joy, his would reflect how much he is trying to fight for his life despite the sorrows he is facing. Naging kaibigan ko ang tahimik kong seatmate. I would always respect his silence kasi ayaw ko naman gambalain siya ng dahil sa kaingayan ko.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, i would like to thank you for reading my very first AU. I would like to apologize if there are some grammatical and typographical errors. This work is purely fictional and I wish that this AU would remind you, my dearest reader, that you are not alone in this world and that you deserve love and happiness. 
> 
> I love you, my dearest reader. Take care always.
> 
> -m


End file.
